I was watching one of the YouTubers I follow and her mom quoted something that stuck with me. She said you've got to have faith in the future and that your decisions shouldn't be based on fear because then you'll never move forward.

It's been 4 years since I last went home and this time it was different. I stayed at my boyfriend's place and we spend the week meeting friends, visiting Dentsu Philippines office, went to Duty Free, playing at the casino, eating filipino food etc. Mostly it's to check out the new condo he got as it was officially turnover to him. What a moment. I was proud. After the crazy whirlwind dealing with POEA to get my exit pass we finally manage to head back to Singapore safely.

14 - 18 Oct 2017

The highlight of my trip was seeing his new unit and the first one that he bought as well. Those were his hard earn money and it solidifies that the man I'm with knows how to think and will make sure that I'm okay in the long run.

I'm back in my hometown as I'm writing this and the other day we visited the school I spend 14 years of my life. I saw the old apartment that I used to stay at during lunch breaks, the restaurants I used to eat at and familiar faces that is still there since forever.  As I observe the people around me I realise there are 2 kinds of Filipino Chinese middle class parents. One is where they are happy and contented with where they are at and one is where they wanted to have better lives for their kids thus moving to a better place, planning their kids future etc.

I'm one of the lucky few to have the latter and that's when I realise how blessed I am. I never experience hardships in life, everything was provided and my parents make sure we have all that we need and more. They decided for me to move to Singapore and at that time, I don't see the need because I was contented with where I am. They knew better thus I am where I am because of their love and support. They set the road and now it's up to me to nurture and move even further.

My heart is dancing; dancing in your love, in your arms, in our lives together, it's just happy.

Day 15
Subject: Impermanence
Mantra: It won't always be like this.

Day 14
Subject: Suffering
Mantra: Life maybe be difficult but I don't need to suffer

As cliche as this may sound we all know it's valid. Change is uncomfortable whether it's imposed upon us or something we want to do for ourselves. I must admit I struggle with this a number of times; from my diet to exercise to work place you name it, it's all but change and it's something I need to face head on.

But the thing that strikes me the most is not about how we are to face it but rather how change can serve us well if we learn to how to recognise and embrace it for what it is. There are several things I want to do like study yoga, take an ancestry DNA test, build a company that contributes to a charitable organization or simply updating my resume and start applying for a new job. I haven't taken the time to do any of these because I consider it as a change to my daily routine. There are several action steps on these and I have been procrastinating for the longest time. Can anyone of you relate with me on that?

Day 13
Subject: Attachment and Aversion
Mantra: Will this be important in a year?

Day 12
Subject: Patience
Mantra: There's always enough time.

Day 11
Subject: Fear
Words: We can choose to observe our fears and bring awareness back to what is happening in the present.

Spending too much time in Singapore calls for a much needed overnight trip to Malacca. It's my first time there so it was exciting to see what the city can offer.

30 Sep - 1 Oct 2017
Most of the popular sites are around Jonker Street so we walked around visiting historical sites such as the Dutch Square, Peranakan Museum and eating chicken rice balls, roasted chicken and nonya cuisine. 4 - 5 hours bus ride wasn't as bad as a I thought but it was tiring nonetheless.

As the new month rolls around and the holidays are here, I can't help but think of all the amazing things that happened this year and plan for the months ahead. As for October it's going to be a month of hometown and planning. Cheers to October.

Day 10
Subject: Control
Words: We cannot control the behaviours of others. And any attempt to do so will backfire.
Mantra: What can I let go of right now?