A fresh start and a new beginning oh what a brand new year of a feeling. I know everyday can be a beginning but there is something about a new year that gives of a fresh clean slate. So I'm starting it right. Here are my goals for January.

- Draw a card and write a reflection daily
- Be gluten-free and vegan
- Do 30 day hot yoga
- Do 8 week tone it up love your body challenge
- Do 4 week Self challenge

This year I only read 11 books, definitely the lowest number in the last 3 years. I just couldn't get myself around reading because I was focused on exploring other creative activities. Hopefully in 2019 I get to read more. In the meantime, here are my top 5 books of 2018.

2018 was definitely a year of creativity. I explored a lot of new things not only on my creative side but also on my personal development; lots practice, patience and self care. So what were my highlights of 2018?

1. Moved in with the love of my life on 1 March 2018 and hosted our first housewarming.
2. Became vegan but I'm more vegetarian (there is that gray area and I'm working on becoming fully vegan 2019)
3. Completed 100 miles challenge by Tone It Up.
4. Went to Singapore Zoo for the first time.
5. Tried colouring, knitting, learning mandarin and tarot cards, yoga teacher training, boxing and barre.
6. I can finally do a headstand (with a wall) and a split.
7. Did my first 24 hour fast.
8. Did 5K Hello Kitty Run with my boyfriend.
9. Travelled to Bangkok 2x, Ho Chi Min, Danang, St Petersburg, Moscow and Seoul.
10. Patch up with my parents
11. My sister gave birth to handsome baby Seby. I have a nephew!

Past year post are here: 2017, 2016, 2015 and 2013.

I don't usually stay late in the office, in fact I rarely do. But last week I had the chance to stay longer than I normally do and have a moment to see the sky change its colour, twilight if you will, right up high on the 22nd floor of my building.

I remember thinking how beautiful this city is, how my life could change, how I will not forget I started right here almost a decade ago.

I don't know what happened yesterday. Suddenly I just felt this guilt from eating dairy. It's like finally it hit me that an animal has suffered and died from what I ate. I don't want this thought and feeling every time I take a bite off of food. It's killing me. I don't want it. I don't want it anymore.

When I was 24 I wrote a post about being the person you want to meet.  Reading back on it now, I realise how I was into the idea of lavish and luxury and in truth, I kind of live that life. But as I've gotten older my perspective changes and I learned to value what matters most. Though reading that post makes me realise that there are things that haven't change such as:

1. Eats healthy food and limits her sugar intake
2. Workout to keep her body in tip top shape
3. Values quality over quantity
4. Reads novels to broaden her imagination and widen her perspective

So who is this person that I want to meet?
1. A vegan
2. Workout to keep her body healthy
3. Has as creative side project 
4. Calm and collected

Every year since 2017 I have been coming up with a theme that I will focus on for the year. 2017 was the year of fun, 2018 is the year of creativity and well 2019? It's the year of change.

October was a bit of a whirlwind for me. I went on a crazy diet and restriction and oh well, we know how that turned out. So November it is! What do we have in store and what do I want to be by the end of the month? Last September I posted where I'm at with regards to what I'm doing now. Turns out I really enjoy knitting! But I don't want to pin my hopes on it just yet as I tend to enjoy one thing now and give up later.

Do A Vegan and Sugar Detox Challenge
Workout Everyday
Follow Meal Plan
Drop To 45kg

Whether you are rich or poor, happy or sad, at the end of the day we are all just living the life we are given.

2 weeks ago I decided to improve my chinese so I can do something productive on my spare time. I remember a couple of years back when I decided on the same but opt out for some reason. I don't think I knew what I was doing then. It was very random and  I got bored eventually. What's different this time is that I'm more equipped and knew that I do better if it's structured. So that's what I'm doing and I'm really excited about it. I mean I speak 4 languages and that's something to be proud of. So yes, I'm on it and hopefully I can keep going.

This time last year I wrote a post on my goal for 2018 and so far I'm not that far off. Though I only manage to do two things from that list as of this month; photo journal and yoga teacher training, it has indeed became a year of creativity. By that I mean I trying a bunch of new things that I wouldn't think of doing. The idea is to see where my interest is at and hopefully find something that I could focus my life on. So far I done:

1. Tried yoga teacher training - not for me
2. Became a vegan - I'm still working on this
3. Completed 100 miles challenge by tone it up - a great challenge!
4. Meal prep sunday - works amazing!
5. Knitting - I need to work on this
6. Take boxing class - not for me
7. Barre class - I love it and will keep going!
8. Studying Mandarin - I'll post more about this later
9. Follow tone it up nutrition plan again - Works great for me and I'll keep going!

6 positives out of 9, not bad. But I have yet to pin down exactly where I want to focus my life on. 3 and a half more months to go and well I better figure it out soon.

I thought about this while I was commuting to work this morning. There are days when I want to stuff myself with carbs and sugars and I realize those are the days that I need to be stronger. The challenge comes not from when we are at peace with our minds, bodies and routines but it's when life throws us a curve ball and we just have to throw it back. Eat well and train hard. No excuses.

I feel like September brings up a new energy in me; to be creative, to learn new things and to plan exactly how I'm going to reach the goal I set out for 2018. It's officially fall but not from where I live. Regardless here are a couple of things that I have my eye on to do this season.

• Finish knitting a project
• Enrol in art school
• Attempt to learn a new language or improve my mandarin skills
• Bake fall desserts
• Cook homemade hearty soup

And so it is and so it is.

I used to hear this phrase from my parents but it didn't hit me as much as it did last night. I had to force myself to calm down because I was in distraught. When you realise how much of a burden you will be to someone because 1) his family is more important than you 2) how he doesn't want you to hang on to him because he wants you to find your own way then you're kind of at lost, left alone to figure things out. It's as though he already has too much on his shoulder and thinking about me is just another weight for him to carry.

I'm not 100% sold on the idea of constantly moving anyway. If I keep starting over where will that lead me? One thing is for sure, I will be older and may not have the same energy and opportunities as when I was younger. As scary as it is for me I need to be brave enough to stand on my own and carve out a life. Learning to put myself first because I know if we are thrown in the ocean, I will need to learn how to swim while he will save and carry his family with him.

As the sun comes up day after day like it always does, anything is possible, that not everyday is exactly the same. When the day has ended with it's long winded run, know that the moon is shining, smiling; you live through another day. The universe is at peace so you should be.

How do you picture our lives would be like? You ask me this last night and after telling you mine and you sharing yours I realise we both have the same vision just different in detail. I was always fixated with something permanent and secure where we can build our foundation as we go, but it doesn't have to be that way. You wanted our lives to be filled with adventure and I wanted the same. Just that I'm afraid of what the consequences are if we're too adventurous as we're older. Then again we have each other don't we? I can choose to live a life with my version of security but without you in it, won't it feel empty?

It's been exactly 6 months since I became vegan (wow 6 months!) and honestly, it wasn't easy. I went through a period of change and face challenges I never thought I would encounter. The problem is not only did I went vegan but my body is not receptive of gluten either so I really had a hard time. Let me give you a run down of what I've experience so far.

1) The first few months I was still eating eggs and dairy but just drank medicine to combat the stomach pain. Because eggs and dairy is IN EVERYTHING! I mean I don't drink cows milk but damn these 2 are just in every food we eat. From fried rice to mix veggies to snacks, it baffles me how these sneaks into everything.

2) Traveling was more challenging for sure. We have to look at places that have vegan options or if they don't, I'll just ask the staff to remove the egg and dairy.

3) I have to be prepared, either I pack my own food if I know the place we're going to go doesn't have vegan option (like the time our team went to universal studio for team bonding) or I have to look at the menu online the night before and see how I can make it vegan (like the time we had a farewell dinner for my boss)

4) Reading food labels is tricky. I'm not familiar with these till today but I know a few. For example did you know that feathers are in breads or bugs are use as food colouring? These are labeled in E (with a series of number).

5) At first I can't get my head around eggs and dairy like I knew they are bad but during those few months I would close one eye and still eat it occasionally. I felt like a hypocrite calling myself vegan but the truth is, it's not going to be perfect and changing how I was eating for 29 years overnight isn't going to happen either. Gradually I have to accept that yes cakes have dairy and I can't eat it and my body doesn't want dairy anyway so why force it. I knew I wanted to go full vegan this year and so recently I watch more documentaries and listen to other vegans opinion on how they manage to gradually wind off those food and it changes my view completely. One of the vegans I follow mention that whenever you think that you can eat that cake with dairy on it, remind yourself that an animal has suffered for it. That was spot on.

6) I tried going high carb vegan where I ate a lot of rice and pasta and it's a no no for me. I ended up gaining more weight than I anticipated.

7) I tried a lot of new vegan recipes but the truth is I can't be bothered to cook unless the food takes me 10 - 15 min to make.

Now I understand how vegan feels after making the change. It's so difficult to navigate a world that is not vegan friendly and that's just the reality of it. I just have to accept that and work my way around it. After a year of attempting to become a vegan, I'm so proud that I have gone this far.

Dear Sweetheart,

Adulthood in your 20s is far different from being in your 30s. As much as I would like to think that I should have embrace this earlier, I haven't gotten around to it. I realise there's more expectations from you once you hit your 30s; having a better paying job, saving enough money to pay for the house, kids, cars etc. and none of those comes easy. It takes a lot of hard work and hard work is not something I'm very a keen to.

But I realise in order for my relationship to work I have to put in the effort. Not just on that but on myself too. I'm lucky to have someone who dreams big in life, works hard and doesn't stop reminding me of what I needed to work on. Thinking about all these makes me want to curl up in bed and sleep but this girl needs to wake up, get up and do something. Work, save money, do better and be better.

I should have written this a month ago but here I am nonetheless. In a couple of days I'm turning 30 and I'll be in Russia celebrating my hearts out. In the mean time this post is about my reflection on what I have set myself up this this past months, what needs to be improved and what I want to achieve before we cap off 2018.

1. Put more effort into the relationship
2. Stop eating eggs, dairy and bread
3. Have an athletic body
4. Save more

30th birthday you say? Yes Russia is where I'm celebrating it. At first, I wasn't so sure where to go for this trip. I was thinking Lisbon, Greece, Spain even Australia but a 30th birthday has to be somewhere epic and unexpected. After a number of discussions, tossing coin here and there we decided to go to Russia. St Petersburg and Moscow to be exact and it's all expense paid minus the ticket of course.

St Basil's Cathedral is one of the main reasons why I wanted to go to Russia. I've seen it in pictures but always wanted to see it in real life at some point. And so next Saturday I'll be hopping on a plane and going where most athletes have gone a few weeks back. Haha. Cheers to an awesome adventure!

There are things in life that I don't want to face and whatever comes after that, I don't want to know either. Let's just pretend everything is okay.

I'm not sure if I can write anything near my 30th birthday because July is going to be a very busy month; doing homeworks, reviewing for exams, doing a marathon, planning a trip it's all too much. I have time today so might as well write it all out.

30, wow I can't even believe I'm turning 30. The last decade has been a culmination of learnings and experiences while I was pretty much timid and naive. I never thought I'll look back and say damn was I so clueless then, yet those were necessary wasn't it. A lot has change in the past year, especially in the last couple of months and I feel like it's prepping me as I welcome a new decade of my life.

I became a vegan, a minimalist, started yoga teacher training and doing things I classify as #adulting. This whole realm is new and exciting for me and I'm learning and maturing at the same time. I guess when you grow older you realise what's important and grow from there. I'll talk more about it in the coming days but as of now, this is where I'm at.

I was thinking yesterday how I wanted to pause everything I do or looking forward to do just because I have set my mind on something bigger that requires more attention. Then again I realise this is unnecessary. Why should I stop doing what makes me happy when it's the only thing keeping me sane? Why should I miss out on life for something I don't even know if it's going to come true? As Paulo Coelho said on his books The Alchemist "The secret of happiness lies in looking at all the wonders of the world and never forgetting the two drops of oil in the spoon.”  

After having a positive conversation with my boss on what my future plans are, I immediately thought of Him and how amazing He has planned everything in my life. As I looked back on how I reacted at the time when I took this job, I realize I only saw the surface of it, the lack of it even. Little did I know there is a bigger plan waiting.

Write a letter to myself (7 Feb 2018)
Bake a banana bread (9 Feb 2018)
Go to a zoo (11 Feb 2018) Singapore Zoo 
Bake vegan black bean brownie (14 Feb 2018)
Tried vegan for a month (March 2018) I've fully converted after.
Complete 3 freeform series (March) Famous In Love, The Bold Type and Alone Together
Take a boxing class (15 March 2018) with Alanna
Donate to a fundraising cause (31 March 2018) Brie Tones It Up 
Purchase something for a good cause (14 April 2018) Non-Toxic Revolution Donation E-Book
Host a house party (28 April 2018) Mexican theme 
Get my cavity fix (13 May 2018) No cavities there!
Learn to do a headstand (14 May 2018) I was so overwhelmed that I finally did it!

12 out of 100!

I haven't been on here for awhile and it's for a good reason. I'm working on myself and my relationship and it's taking up most of my time. I miss being here. It's always been my safe ground and I don't want to ever abandon it.

Things are different now. I'm not on my own anymore but rather I have someone that needs my support as much as I needed his. If there's one thing I learned in the past is how important participating is. Such a simple word yet it means something to someone or anyone you're with. Whether it creates results or not, it helps elevate the weight on someone's shoulder. I know I have been slacking a bit on this regard but after yesterday's conversation I have to rethink my actions moving forward and yes that involves me participating whether I like it or not.

There are things that doesn't really hit you until later on. You realise that regardless whether you're with someone or not, whether you have your family or friends you think you can depend on, at the end of the day you really are on your own. 

I haven't been on here for a while and it's for a number of reasons. My diet has changed, my goals have changed, everything really. I'm adjusting to new things and it's been a quite a ride. I'm ok. Just battling a few things myself.

It's officially March! This month caps the first quarter of the year and I want to do a lot of things and I mean a lot. Ideas are flying everywhere and I had to take a step back, asses what I can do and go from there. Here are my so called realistic goals so far.

Food

• Commit to 30 days of vegan
• Journal every single food I eat and post them here
• No bread 

It's our tradition isn't it? Every time our trip has come to an end we ask each other our highlights or if there's anything new that we learn form one another. You told me that after this trip you realize that you can make sacrifices for me; to make me happy, to make sure I'm okay. I know this was our first holiday after I became vegan and it wasn't easy for you. Hearing those words meant a lot to me and I love you even more.

Lately I noticed that I tend to jump from one thing to another. New ideas are coming out and I want to get into it then later realizing it's not what I want and move on and the same thing happens again. Finding myself in this cycle makes me question whether I have the drive to give my time and effort to see an idea through and stick with it. Yet at the same time, if my interest has fallen out and a new idea comes out again, I don't want to get tired of exploring it.

When all this while I was waiting for you, little did I know you were waiting for me too.

It's been more than week since I committed to becoming a vegan and it's tough. I haven't eaten meat since my post on veganism but yes I did have eggs and dairy. I didn't realize how challenging it would be to completely cut those 2 out especially when you go out with someone and honestly, I'm starting to crave meat. I mean I usually eat plant based on my own but this time it's complete cold turkey. I knew this is gonna happen because I've tried this before and I had the same cravings. I'm not sure how long I can hold up but they say the toughest part is 60 days, I'm on my 11th so we'll see.

If there's one thing I know that I kind of slip off here and there is being in control. Particularly about the food I eat. Food has always been a big thing / issue for me because part of me wants to lose weight but part of me wants to eat as well. It's hard long battle but I'm learning to be more in control especially when situation arises that caught me off guard.

It's amazing how the simplest things we do for ourselves can inspire others once it's shared. To me that's sharing my thoughts through writing and even the simplest act of creating something; whether it's painting, colouring anything, somehow somewhere it travels and inspires people to do the same. My heart fills with joy knowing it could change someone's lives or help them get back to do what they used to enjoy before. It triumphs everything and it makes me want to keep going.

Yesterday 10 Feb 2018 was the day I officially decided to become a vegan. Why? A number of reasons.

1) I don't usually eat meat because I can't digest a huge amount of it and I find that my body respond better on eating plant-based foods. Even cooking raw meat and fish is disgusting to me.

2) I discovered I'm lactose intolerant in 2016.

3). It's something I've constantly dilly-dallying about but never fully committed to. I've posted a entry Can I Really Be Vegan? and Veganism in 2016.

4) I've read enough information in the past and watch other Youtubers their story, reasons and experiences and it really made me think twice.

5) This video "Best Speech You'll Have Hear" solidifies it. Gary mentioned that we practice compassion and love to each other but why can't we do the same thing to animals.

6) Went to Singapore Zoo yesterday for the first time and I can't stomach eating another living animal.

I can't help but feel sad and broken hearted whenever I hear relationships fail, especially those that have been together long enough that I see them past any storm. It makes me reflect on my own relationship and want to do better and work harder to keep it strong and alive.

It's just heart breaking but it serves as a good reminder that I have to do my part to have a happy and peaceful relationship.

Dear Future Self,

How are you? How is your life going right now? If you ask me well I'm here at Dentsu writing this letter to you at my desk at exactly 9:37am. You met the love of your life last year in May 2017 and wasn't that the most unexpected and unbelievable experience of your life? I mean you guys travel so much in a span of 6 months and that's just the beginning. I bet there's a lot of changes in your life right now and I'm sure you are in a good place.

Right now I'm filled with things I want to do. You see I started this 100 things in 1001 days and I'm trying to fulfill that to experience new things and get out of my comfort zone. Things has been a bit stale lately but I'm looking forward to traveling to Bangkok for the first time in 23 Feb. I'm also close to finishing the Purpose Driven Life and thereafter I'll start reading the bible. Isn't amazing how this practice creates a habit to start the morning with the Lord? It's such a good feeling.

On a more professional note well I want to move out of ad agency. I've been in this industry close to 10 years and I hope to move to apparel or cosmetic brands. We'll see how that goes but for now I'm still okay with where I'm at.

Want some advice sweetheart? Be okay with yourself regardless of where you're at; whether it be your weight, career, relationship, anything. Know that these are all planned for you and where you are is where you should be. Do you remember what we've learn in the past couple of days? Our purpose on this earth is to honor and serve the Lord. Him and only him. Spend time with your friends, go out, catch up with them. You've been so secluded lately and I encourage you to go out there because from what we've learned that's the only way we can develop our character to be like Christ and this is what we'll take with us in heaven. Don't stop going after your dreams even if you're 35 now. I know you still have a lot of things you want to do and see, go do them regardless what other people say. Keep your faith much like what you have now, be strong and know that the Lord is always with you and for relationship well remember this, RESPECT him. Always LISTEN, be PATIENT AND FORGIVE. Both of you are going far. It may not be easy but know that you have each other and believe that the Lord meant it to be that way.

Love always,
From your coming to 30 year old self.

I've attempted to do this before but it wasn't something that's well thought out. But now I had sometime and made a full 100 list to do in 1001 days. Credit goes to Design Darling of course for coming up with this!

Start Date: 6 Feb 2018
End Date: 3 Nov 2020

Arts and Classes 
1. Study art class
2. Try pottery class
3. Learn calligraphy
4. Take a fashion course
5. Attend a floral arrangement class
6. Attend a wine class
7. Attend a cocktail mixing class
8. Do yoga teacher training
9. Knit a throw blanket
10. Complete a new painting
11. Make a piece of art aside from painting
12. Write a short story series at Wattpad
13. Complete a 500 piece puzzle
14. Complete a lego puzzle
15. Complete 3x adult colouring books
16. Complete my 20's entry in Wattpad
17. Go to a book signing event
18. Attend at least 3 creative mornings session
19. Learn to play a musical instrument
20. Complete 5 DIY items on Pinterest
21. Complete 1 year of photo art journal
22. Go to 3 free outdoor events in Singapore (sports etc.)

Fitness and Wellness
23. Floss everyday for 30 days
24. Be a vegan for a month
25. Do hot yoga for a month
26. Go wall climbing
27. Meditate everyday for 21 days
28. Finish 12 weeks of Kyla Itsines workout
29. Complete a Lauren Gleisberg workout
30. Workout 5x a week for a month
32. Take a boxing class
33. Go on a wellness retreat
34. Go for a full medical exam
35. Establish a proper skin care routine (serums and eye cream)
36. Get my cavity fix
37. Get LASIK eye surgery
38. Do a food intolerance check
39. Do DNA test
40. Get down to 45kg

Cooking
41. Bake a pie
42. Make my own pasta
43. Bake a cake
44. Bake guilt free brownies
45. Cook a Filipino food
46. Make a lasagna
47. Bake a bread
48. Bake a banana bread
49. Cooked at least 10 new vegan dish
50. Cook at least 3 dishes from each of the cook books I own

Travel
51. Visit 3 new countries
52. Travel to 10 new places I've never been before
53. Stay in a hostel
54. See a snow
55. Watch the Brooklyn sunset
56. Go on a cruise
57. Walk along the beach of south america
58. Take a trip with another couple

Finance
59. Go 1 month without shopping unless it's a necessity
60. Invest in a health insurance
61. Invest money
62. Start a retirement plan
63. Put $10 dollars for every goal accomplished

Professional
64. Establish a freelance writing portfolio job
65. Launch The Thrift Project
66. Get a job in fashion

Just For Fun
67. Run 5k with boyfriend
68. Watch a movie under the stars
69. Have a picnic with boyfriend
70. Attend an art fair
71. Try a new hair colour
72. Host a house party
73. Host a holiday party
74. Organize a cloths swapping event
75. Go on a hot air balloon ride
76. Go on a helicopter ride
77. Go horseback riding
78. Go parasailing
79. Go zip lining
80. Go to a zoo
81. Volunteer in a church
82. Donate to a charity
83. Do a fund raising event
84. Purchase something for a good cause
85. Watch 5 indie movies
86. Complete 3 freeform series that I love and enjoy
87. Watch a broadway show
88. Watch a circus show
89. Write a letter to myself and open it on my 35 birthday
90. Finish reading the bible
91. No purchasing of clothes for 6 months
92. No makeup buying for 6 months
93. Try a food truck food
94. Visit 10 new restaurants in Singapore
95. Watch a sports games live
96. Buy a vintage camera
97. Purchase a photo printer
98. Read a When Breath Becomes Air
99. Read a Haruki Murakami book
100. Do a 3 day juice cleanse
101. Complete this list

I don't think I'll ever stop writing. It's my safe ground. My avenue of self expression. It has help me cope through goods times and bad and it's in my hopes that some way some how I get to help someone deals with life, that they are not alone, that someone in this world also experiences the same as them and that know that everything will be okay.

After the hurdle last week and over the weekend, we came to a conclusion that there are 3 things we need to remember; to listen, to be patient and to forgive. Words that may seem simple but hard to do.

I don't want to feel that life is just a never-ending meaningless motion because I believe there is more to it. I crave change yet I'm scared. Every time I wake up I feel like it's the same thing over again. I wake up, workout, go to work, go home, rest and sleep. It's just sad to be like this.

Lately I've been trying to do a lot of things and I feel like there's isn't enough time in the day to do all of it. I've been working out, applying for new jobs, trying to do my side jobs and of course my creative pursuits. Heck I haven't include the time I spend nurturing my relationship and my 9 - 6 job. Wheew! That's a lot isn't it. I'm all for time management and I've mastered this method just that I don't apply it.. sometimes. I don't even have time to watch The Bachelor :(

I've thought about enrolling in an art course over the weekend and part of me is still indecisive about it. Mainly because it takes a year to complete it and knowing me I tend to stop half way. It won't be the first time I enrolled in a creative class though. Back in 2016, I took up a 6 week course in Creative Writing and I was surprise by how well I did. I mean I don't know how those words came out of me but it just did. Then again we're talking about a whole year here, not 6 weeks. Big commitment I know.

But can I just share this? Painting, drawing, colouring are some of the mediums I explored as a kid and I enjoyed doing it. I had sketch pads, drew still life and thought perhaps I have the skill. I just stop because either I wasn't into it that much or didn't think I have the talent. Nonetheless, as I grew older writing was the only thing that I kept doing and I have blogger to thank for that. But art? not so much.

Then again what's wrong in exploring and learning things that you are interested and later find out that it's not really your thing? At least you tried right? I mean how else can we know if we don't try?  I know it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself and perhaps I do. I mean I want to study yoga and even fashion design just to see which one I like best.  Needless to say I'll be one of those people who is a jack of all trades and a master of none. Maybe after all this I can just choose one and be a master of it no?

It won't always be perfect isn't it? With everything in life there is a price to pay, whether it be your comfort, money, job, status everything. It's a life currency, a kind of transaction if you put it, to pay for what is given and I'm trying to learn how to deal with that.

Right now I'm trying to find comfort where I'm at. Not to settle but to find peace with it.

I'm trying to keep a positive thought here as I've been wallowing too much on things that are unnecessary. I had a good sleep this last night and woke up with a positive note. Spend a bit of time reading my devotion and having breakfast. As I pause for a moment before I head out of the door I realize there's a few things that haven't change with me.

I still enjoy being in a creative environment. I enjoy arts and crafts, colours, literatures, all the things that makes me wonder and feel happy at the same time. Unfortunately, my work right now doesn't allow me to do that and it sucks how I came from a creative agency down to where my work focuses on media. It pays the bills and the environment allows flexibility but it doesn't fulfil me.

Something has to change but I tend to hold back. I don't know.