There's always this one girl in a man's life that makes his heart sing a million songs. I hope I am that to you.

I reach out my hand to you despite the feeling that I don't want to. Yet here I am with my untainted soul humbled down in hopes no sight of bitterness is in your eyes, in your voice. You welcome me like yesterday was long forgotten and responded with the same view in your eyes like I've always known; cold yet warm, spite yet forgiven.

I''m okay. I'm human. That in spite of what I think, it doesn't matter. We are ashes after all, waiting to be blown away and into infinity. 

6:22am

As the day begins and our lives starts to unfold, I wonder about what the lives of others are. Not the people around me but the characters on the books I have yet to finish, the authors who's works sunk deep to my soul. Perhaps their lives are more interesting than mine or perhaps I find the connection between their souls and mine. And that maybe just maybe we're really not all that different.

When I was young my mom used to tell me that there is a time for study and time for play. Now that I'm all grown up I realize how true this still is. There is a time for work, time for play, time to nurture relationships and time for rest. As things gets a little bit overwhelming, I paused and remind myself that there is time. Time to focus on things that are important, time to get the things I want to get done, done. So that's what I'm doing. Time to get my act together and just do it.

I can't keep my mind still. It's all over the place yet this is where I feel the safest. I want to hide in my own thoughts, in own my world where no one can hurt me, where no one can judge me for what I do and for what I say. It's just me and this world I created in my head. I'm happy here. It's my playground and my refuge where I can come back to when everything else is but chaos.

I don't want to be surrounded by people I care less about. I'd rather stay away from them, isolating myself where I don't have to think of anyone but of ways I can better myself and of how I wish to live in the next 40 - 50 years of my life.

After nearly a decade of writing my thoughts in here I realise I've just kept record of my 20s. Wow and I just did that unconsciously. We've seen and heard people keeping a journal here and there but most of us never see the value in it. To be honest, I was one of them. I attempted to do the whole One Line A Day thing about 2 years ago and ended up giving up after 5 months. I just don't understand how people do it. Little did I know the method I was doing was wrong. I realize you need to allow yourself to write freely when you want to and not be sucked up in a system you have to follow, much like how I always have with this blog. Now that I'm entering my 30s in 8 months time, I know it's still a long way to go, I'll keep doing what I'm doing but I'm adding 2 more things.

Keep photos of the highlights of my month. I started this in July and it's so fun to see actual photographs of memories I enjoy the most.

Do the 365 questions everyday starting today. I'm a little skeptical with this just because I tried doing One Line A Day and it drained the hell out of me. But then again maybe this time it will be different since it's going to be 365 different questions for the entire year.

Can you imagine keeping records of your life for an entire decade and looking back at them when you're older? How amazing will that be?

I was reading my devotion yesterday and the message prompts me to reflect on what had happened thus far this year. It said that when God takes something away from you, trust that He will give you a life of abundance and that's exactly what happened to me. I was intending to move to Toronto once all my documents are settled but due to some circumstances it didn't push through. As broken as I was I chose to let it go and trust that it will all be okay.

Looking backI realize how true the passage was. He took away my opportunity to move to Toronto and replaced it with unforgettable experiences. I met the love of my life, when to places I've never been before, got the opportunity to visit back home, to travel to Japan - a country I've always wanted to visit by never got the chance to and to cap it off a plan to travel to Europe during the holidays. It blows my mind how blessed I was. and indeed God is true to His words and He never fails.

Holiday season is almost here with autumn scents filled the room, tickets booked and plans for Christmas are almost set. If you can't tell from the image, yes! I'm going to Berlin! Well that and Amsterdam. I'm just polishing up some documents and I'm good to go, what a way to end the year. I feel blessed and this year has nothing but greatness.

October has left me with plans confirmed, things to ponder and to work on for 2018. Exciting things are happening.